who am i? what have i been doing here?

surrounded by darkness and silence, a cooling retreat for me.

before me lies pieces of broken mirrors, each of fragment of my memories.

what am i doing here?

i peered into my reflection...

a monster never change... it stays a monster no matter how it tries...

the monster hurts everyone... even when it wanted to be friends...

for the monster is a monster

the monster selfishly wanted company... and invaded the lives of the happy and kind people it met

monsters are meant to stay alone. in darkness.

tt is the least it can do to avoid hurting those it loves.

the monster hid in a dark place, listening to the laughers of its friends

it smiles, knowing that they are happy, but it will stay in the darkness, listening, contented.

sorry... for making you worry... but i am fine here, watching from this darkness. the distance between us may be the only thing that can protect you from me.

each day ... i ponder what troubles goes through your mind, in vain, for i have realised that in the end, my heart is selfish and i fail to understand. if only, my pondering of your troubles can lift those problems from your life. if only, each of you can place ur misery in this cursed body and let me fade away along with it.

for once... i really want to stop bringing trouble upon you. even if that means erasing myself.

please, let me dig out this wilful heart and stab it to death with a silver dagger

let me seal my emotions so i can stop hurting those around me

these sins that i cant undo.... then i shall undo myself, to prevent any more hurt upon you